Judgment – the elephant in the room

"Judgment is like the elephant in the room. When we remove it there is room for so much more positive energy."

As your doula, I promise unconditional and judgment free support.


What does that really mean? Many of us haven’t ever really experienced this type of support. Even though our friends or family have the best intentions, usually their support is clouded by their own past experiences, their relationship with us, their fears, their questions, and the inevitable impact the outcome will have on them. I am able to remain neutral and not be clouded by these same types of things. I am there just for you, and you get a truly supportive experience.


My support involves no judgment.

None. Nada.

No judgment.

Judgment free.


As you are free to make your own choices, you are also free to know you are safe when sharing them with me. You own your birth experience. You own your choices. I will help you meet your goals and work towards the type of birth you choose. If you choose natural birth, a birth plan, no birth plan, an epidural, water birth, hypnosis, or a cesarean section, I will support you. I will support any choice you make for your birth.

Some women worry that if they change their mind during labor, they will be judged. Please surround yourself with support people who you trust to respect your choices. If you choose to have an epidural, even if you didn’t plan to, I will be there with you. There is nothing to judge. You are a woman, a human being, and you’ve made a choice. You need support. You need to be reminded you are capable and you know what is best for your body. When you choose an epidural, you’ve chosen it because it is what you have decided is right for you at this point in time. Even when plans change, you deserve nonjudgmental support.

When you can relax and feel safe knowing you will have support no matter what, you will be stronger because of it. You will feel good about yourself, and confident in your choices. If you want more information about something, I will be right there to help you talk through it. You make the choice, but I can help you with gathering the information and knowing that you have what you need to make the best decision possible, in the moment. If you need to think, I can be silent. If you need to talk, I can listen. If you have questions, I can help answer them or help find someone who can. If you are scared, you have my hand to hold. I am there with you, no matter your choice, no matter how you may feel. If you yell at me, I won’t leave. I won’t be mad, I won’t wince. I know what is happening to you and I understand. I don’t judge, I offer my hand, I offer you a safe place.

The birth of your baby will forever change you. You will be a parent, either for the first time or the fourth, and you will be strong. This is your experience, and as your doula I am here with you. No matter what. Your choices are yours, not mine. Your birth is yours, not mine. Your body is yours, not mine. What is mine is my choice to spend this time with you as your family grows, and offer you my unconditional support. And I offer it happily.

 Judgement free doula support with positive energy
photo credit: <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/69827556@N04/8450060514″>Hilah Zohar, Holistic Practitioner & Doula</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a> <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/2.0/”>(license)</a>